Gary Chapman’s Growing Up Social {Book Review}

Gary Chapman’s Growing Up Social {Book Review}

Take a look around and you’ll see more screens than ever before! Whether they are smart phones, tablets, laptops and several other toys, everyone seems to be using them including our kids! So how do we find a healthy balance between screen time and real face time? Gary Chapman’s Growing Up Social book tries to teach us just that, to find that point between allowing our kids to play and have fun but still learning how to interact with the real world around them.

Technology is here to stay, and we believe you can find positive ways to utilize it for your relationships. No doubt your child is going to use emails, texts, and smart phones as he grows into an adult.

How often have you gone out to dinner, or maybe waited for a doctor’s appointment, and to keep your child quiet you pass over your phone or tablet? I’ve done it. Even on quick trips through the grocery store; it’s easier to keep them busy with electronics while I shop than to handle the constant questions, wants, whines, etc. And from time to time, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this technique!

I’ve also been the mom who gets yelled at by a 5 year old because I have turned the gaming console off! Really, my kid is yelling at me because it’s time to get a bath instead of finishing yet another game? What’s a mom to do?

That’s why I’ve enjoyed this book, because the authors Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicane take every day examples, just like mine, and help us with techniques and tips to try instead.

We can help our children develop a more sensible range of wants and a deeper appreciation for what they have. Teach your children to wait for what they want. Sometimes they have to wait until they earn enough money or until they are old enough to have a particular toy or device. Ultimately they will enjoy the toy more if they have waited for it and worked hard to earn it.

I really like the solutions they both offer, instead of just telling me what a bad parent I am. Like setting up a schedule or reward system, depending on the child’s age. And how to interact with your kids when they put up a struggle with your rules. I also appreciate that they clarify that screen time is different than when those same devices are used for school or educational purposes.

Gone are the days where children regularly play outside or enjoy family conversation together. Children’s lives are now dominated by televisions, tablets, smartphones, video games, and computers; and parents are finding themselves competing with screens to engage their children in communication, or complete simple tasks like homework, eating meals together, and exercising. Schools are even incorporating more screen time in the classroom.

Today, the average American child, age eight to eighteen, spends more than seven hours a day looking at a video game, computer, cell phone, or television. By the age of seven, a child will have spent one full year of twenty-four-hour days watching a media screen.

The same technology that has improved our lives has the potential, if unmonitored, to hinder children emotionally and socially. Is it possible for a child to learn about relationships and responsibilities when the vast majority of their time is spent in front of a mobile device?

In Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World (Northfield Publishers/Moody), authors Dr. Gary Chapman (The Five Love Languages) and Arlene Pellicane remind parents that they, not technology, are still responsible for educating their children about having healthy and fulfilling relationships.

I think this would be a great book for any parent, or even grandparent, to read and institute some of the changes that the authors write about. Whether you have a toddler, tween or a teenager, I think you’ll find helpful suggestions in the book so you can get your kids back and help steer them back into learning personal interactions and real relationships. The book is an easy read and the solutions are practical to put into place. This would make a great gift too!

Pick up your copy of Growing Up Social on Amazon. You can also visit their website and connect with them on Facebook and Twitter.

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