Teaching Your Toddler the Meaning of “No”
When teaching your toddler anything, especially when Teaching Your Toddler the Meaning of “No” can feel like a losing battle. Keep at it, they will learn and come to understand the meaning of the word – notice I didn’t say that they would ever like hearing it from you!
Understanding “no” seems to be more important to the parent than to the toddler. Once they start talking, they will use the word “no” even when they mean “yes”! But seriously, teaching your toddler the meaning of “no” or what ever word you want to use to have them stop and look at you is important and may prevent them from getting hurt or worse.
According to pediatricians and other experts, toddlers respond better to verbal commands when they are followed up by action. When it comes to toddlers, actions really do tend to speak louder than words! Understanding that physical follow-through helps communicate the message is key to successfully teaching your toddler the meaning of “no”. It’s a good idea to note, however, that the age-old method of slapping hands to teach a toddler “no” is not generally recommended by experts these days.
What Kind of Follow-Through?
Experts recommend physical follow-through and behavioral follow-through when working with toddlers. For example, if you say “no” to your toddler who is about to climb over a table, back up your firm “no” with physical removal of your toddler from the table. You may have to repeat this several times depending on the age and will of your child. It will help if you redirect your toddler’s attention to something else after the “no” and the relocation, such as showing them a toy or where they can climb on things. Make sure you praise him when he engages in the “right” activity, and change your voice to firm and stern when you have to repeat the “no” and remove him again.
Following through regarding behavior basically means sticking with your guns. If you say “no” to an activity or toy, don’t renege on that “no”. Your toddler will learn you don’t always mean it when you say “no,” and will test each time to see if you actually mean what you say.
Positive Reinforcement
For some parents, the toddler years are complicated by a newborn baby in the house. Toddlers tend to “act up” when you are nursing the newborn or changing his/her diaper. That’s when follow-through can be just about impossible! Here are some tips.
- Feed your baby in a sling or other carrier so that you can be somewhat mobile if you have to be.
- Make baby feeding or changing time into “fun time” with your toddler. Establish a special toy or activity that your toddler only gets to enjoy when you are engaged with the baby. Hopefully, your toddler will begin to look forward to baby care time, because he or she gets to play with the special toy.
- You can also make nursing time into book-reading time. Your newborn will benefit from the reading aloud, and your toddler can snuggle up with the both of you for story time. Again, it helps your toddler look forward to the times when you care for the baby.
- Try to have some mom-and-toddler and/or dad-and-toddler time each day, one-on-one. Not only does this give your toddler attention, but it also builds your communication and overall relationship, making “no” carry that much more weight.
We taught our children two words early on in life. NO was taught and used in early training and FREEZE was taught and used for emergencies. While the word “no” came in handy with toddlers and smaller children, the word “freeze” can still be said even around our adult children and they will stop – dead in their tracks – and turn to look at whomever called it out.
Leave a Reply