Parenting Beyond the Rules: Raising Teens with Confidence and Joy
I've heard it said many times that children don't come with an instruction manual. While that may be true, there are so many women that have walked the path before us that we can learn from and pattern. Connie Albers is one of those wise women that has walked the path and not only survived, but came out the other side better than when the journey began. In Parenting beyond the Rules, Connie shares her wisdom on raising teens. She compares it to painting a masterpiece.
Book Description
Parenting teens is one of the most challenging seasons of parenting, isn’t it? While this can be a difficult time of transition for parents and teens, there is hope. You can parent well and build a stronger relationship even through the teen years.
After 30 years of parenting five children and 20 years of working with teens, Connie Albers has witnessed the negative impact of well-intentioned but misguided parenting styles, all focused on managing teens rather than guiding them. But through learning to focus on the hearts of your teens, you can avoid those pitfalls and build relationships that last beyond the transition years as you intentionally learn about, connect with, and listen to your teens. In a world filled with distractions and devices, it is possible to guide their hearts and remain the primary influence in their lives. In Parenting beyond the Rules, you will discover how to raise a teen according to his or her strengths, talents, and personality type, as these things equip teens to manage life.
About the Author
Connie Albers is a popular speaker and writer dedicated to strengthening families, parenting, homeschooling, faith-filled living, social media, and leadership. Her practical content inspires and equips parents in the trenches. Connie has been a spokesperson for a Fortune 500 company as well as serving as a director and board member for a nonprofit state homeschool organization.
My Thoughts
Having left home when I was only 14, I didn't have a good relationship with either of my parents. I also didn't have direction, guidance, or support during those troubled years.
When I became I parent I knew that I wanted to have a different relationship with my children. I was, of course, clueless! As parents, we stumbled along making mistakes and praying our incompetence didn't ruin our children.
Teen years are challenging
The teen years for our children (all seven of them) were challenging to say the least. Oh how I wish I had know Connie back then! I met her in 2015 at a conference one morning when we were both sitting outside the restaurant at our hotel waiting for it to open. Both of us had multiple roommates and had gone to find a place where we could work and not bother them as it was still dark outside. Connie came and sat down beside me and we introduced ourselves. It was at this first meeting that she shared that she felt she was being called to write a book about raising teens. I am so glad that she followed the heart tug from the Lord and poured herself into this book.
This book is such an encouragement and will be such a blessing to parents.
The practical advice that Connie shares is priceless. As I read page after page, I laughed and I cried. I cried more about the lost time and the wasted struggles that our family dealt with as each of our teens transitioned into adulthood.
Thankfully, all of our children are married to wonderful partners and are raising beautiful families. And while their children are in various stages, they seem to be handling things so much better than I did when they were young. As well as they are doing, each of them was given a copy of this book to read. I can't wait to see our grandchildren grow up with parents that are better equipped to paint the masterpiece of future generations.
Parenting beyond the Rules: Raising Teens with Confidence and Joy is available on Amazon in both paperback and kindle formats.
Don't have a Kindle? Grab one for yourself. They are so nice to use for reading. I love my Kindle Fire and my little one uses the e-Reader version (just for reading without the added games and internet options).
Make sure to follow Connie L Albers on social media:
This is a book parents need. I must say that “parenting adults” is harder than teens!
This book looks very interesting. Thanks for sharing!
I’m gonna need this book in a few years!
That sounds like a very useful and positive book. I love that there is an emphasis on raising teenagers with confidence and joy. I tend to forget the joy part of it when they are not so little and cute anymore. Every season has its joy so I need to remember that.
What a fabulous book for every parent. Too many kids today are going astray because parents want to be their children’s friend instead of parent. When I was a kid, if my parent told me to do something, I did it the first time. Now, kids disobey their parents all the time with no repercussions and it’s clear the negative impact these non disciplined kids have had on society. Not positive at all, in my opinion. So this book seems perfect for every parent, giving them some tips and advice on managing their children as they grow up.
@DianeLori
So glad my son it grow just it take patience & discipline for teenagers today
This is lovely.
Honestly cannot imagine raising seven children! I know I was difficult as a teenager.
It sounds like a great book.
This looks like an interesting read!
Raising teenagers are very hard they go through a stage where they want to rebel against everything or mine did I wish I had new about this book back then
I have ordered this book my sister. She seems to struggle with her kids.
My children are adults now, but I sure could of used this in their teen years! Sounds great! Thanks for sharing!
I need this book. Time goes by so fast. This book would come in handy.
I have successfully raised 2 teenagers of my own- It was challenging but also very rewarding.
Great article. I’ll share with my friends.
Each generation faces the drama of raising teenagers. Rebellion and testing rules is part of their growth. But what can help make it better is what you do in their formative years; build traditions and memories, address the heart issues first, give them opportunities to challenge themselves beyond what they think they can do, and tell them how much you love them all the time. Understanding each child’s love language helps too. Having raised four , we now have young adults who are successful, balanced, and love others.
Responsibilities are necessary for teenagers, and they need to have a purpose for them.
That is a great new idea!
I think every age has there problem but if you stick to it you will have a great kid
great advice, love it
I could have used some good advice when I went through the teenage years with my son! I think a lot of people would find this very helpful!
Perfect. Thank you!
wow!, this is a great blog. So much info. Thanks for sharing.
Encourage volunteering, perhaps at the local library or park district.
My kids had Cancer the other one Diabetes, a heart transplant and Celiacs disease so I wing everything. I hope this book helps people out sounds great to get information from.
I need to read this, my almost 12 year old is getting more mature.
I have a 21yr old that just got his 1st apartment last week. I can honestly say that my son’s teenage years weren’t bad. He’s a great kid and I know every parent says that but my son came from me and I know me, I’m a butthead lol My son did everything right. He got good grades, he went to college before graduating highschool, he graduated college, he started his career and now he has his own apartment. I didn’t graduate school, I had kids early, I suck at life lol
I honestly don’t know how he did it but I’m grateful he listened to me. All I can say is talking to your kids and listening to them helps. Explain to them their rights and wrongs and always tell them they’re doing good because those were words I never got from my parents. Maybe if I had heard those words, maybe I would’ve done better with my life. My son is my greatest achievement and sometimes I think that being a mother is all I was ever meant to do in life because I wish I could’ve had a career but I do know that kids grow up better with a parent home. And I’m thankful that I got to be home with my son and do the complete opposite of what my parents did raising me and my sister. Yup I got a sibling out there somewhere, so beware lol
This looks like a great book! And definitely important in these crazy times!
A teen would like a job baby sitting or playgroud attendant or camp counseller
Why does it seem girls are so much more likely to lack that confidence? Maybe boys do too, but it doesn’t seem like it. I think to be a good parent, you have to read these books, get ideas, think outside the box.
Sure could have used that book when mine were young. My parents were strict and my husband’s were very lenient. We clashed on raising ours.
Don’t have kids, but I know it’s hard raising kids these days.
I’m passing Connie Albers, “Parenting Beyond The Rules” over to my daughter. My granddaughter almost two will be a teenager before I know it! Time passes too quickly! I would have loved reading her book when raising my kids which are now young adults.
This sounds like such a great book this will be helpful in the future
This book definitely seems like a blessing for parents. I currently have a preteen daughter.
I’m hoping my 4 young daughters don’t give me as much trouble as my 18 year old son has lol.
My kids (boys) came out OK. It helps to keep them busy.
What a great post, very helpful info.
I love this, I wish there were even more information on this out there.
Raising teenagers is a full time job. I’ve gotten through the first one with little trouble fortunately (he’s 24 now). Now my second son and my daughter, 16 and 14 respectively, like to try my patience and test the waters lol. All in all I have some pretty great kids!
This book sounds truly great! With kids varying in ages and the true difference in character between each of them, having a guide is really important!
Would love to read your book one day.
Good read. Been having a hard time trying to balance work life and raising a preteen during all this. Nice to go go beyond the rules at times especially when better for mental health of my son.
I barely slid through the teen years with my 4.
What chores are appropriate
Not easy being parents.
Raising kids to have confidence and joy is the key to parenting. If parents can accomplish that, they have done very well.
Beautiful!
I have a 14 yr. old son, to bet this book will be on my list.
Sounds like an interesting read, from parents who understand
Structure is key
No children, does not apply to me.
Raising teens is not an easy task!
Parents nowadays have better communication with their kids than they used to I think that is a huge factor in having a good relationship
Looks like a good read for the parents of teens!
I do not have children, so this is not relevant to me.
I have my teens help with household chores
Get a farm job
I know there are a lot of people who could use a little of this right now! Teenage years are so tough and they are quite different in 2020 compared to when I went through them.
This ship has sailed…
For me too! All seven of our children are married and starting families of their own. Each one was gifted one of these books.
Thank you for this!!
Love my 3 kids
Sounds like a great book I will read it
Awesome !!
This sounds like an awesome book – one I need as I have our youngest on the brink of being a teen!
I wish that my husband and I had this book available when our son was in his teens! Very informative!
My relationship with my parents was a disaster, I pray it will be better for my daughter and I will read any book that can get me there!
Here too. My relationship with my parents was terrible. I gifted each of our seven children a copy of this book to help them with their families.
This could be helpful to me with my students too 🙂
I worry so much with my daughter. So many little girls are tough, gritty and confident, then somewhere on their way to adult hood they lose that. I don’t want her to lose hers.
a video game is not the answer
Great post!! Love it!!
Could really use this
I’ve raised 3 kids, one of them being deaf. Hardest thing I’ve ever done but well worth it.
Amen to that! I love our seven children but whew baby…. there were times when I wasn’t sure we would all survive. Thankfully they are all married and starting families of their own. Now I get to watch them face the challenges of parenting. Funny how the more children they get…the smarter old mom becomes.
Communication is a must
Work for pay
Raised 2 and they were both wonderful teenagers.. strange as it seems I was truly blessed…
Great post!!
I embraced my daughter’s teen years! They were all about her! Team sports, friends over, group trips to the beach, etc. The more the merrier and laughter instead of tears!
This is a book I will definitely recommend to my best friend who is raising a teen. This sounds like a great book!
Thank you, my son just turned 13.
I am NOT looking forward to my daughter’s teens, I am going to need this book!
Emotions run high in the teen years. Just keep the end goal in mind.
This book seems to be full of tips for the tough teenage years. Having 5 children starting with twins, the advice I have is to pick your battles and find a way for each kid to contribute to running the home more smoothly.
Book looks interesting
I think no parent/child relationship is easy, but it’s important that both parent and child respect each other and recognize their responsibilities within and outside the home.
I agree! The relationship between the family members has always been the most important thing to me. Now that our children are married and starting families of their own, it thrills my heart to see how close they are with each other. I know that when I am gone, they will still depend on each other.
daily chores or routine is key
Very informative article!
Have good communication!!
I dont have teens yet, but will soon! Helpful info!
14-15 y/o is the most difficult age
What is your advice to get them out of their rooms?
Talk to your kids about everything even the things you would rather not! And listen to them too!! Let them know that it’s ok for you to have different opinions about things.
We try to have family time for meals…no exceptions except prearranged activities
The teen years are definitely VERY challenging! I raised three sons & we all made it out alive lol My advise to disciplining in the teen years is to basically give them community service if they need a bigger punishment than simply grounding them. I made my son volunteer at the food bank & tutor other students. Now that he is grown, he continues to volunteer and has mentored students and volunteers with Habitat for Humanity.
you succeed with your own kids…and then the grandkids grow up….It’s a struggle
Teach empathy for others and to be responsible!
Oh boy are the teen years challenging! I have a 16 year old that thinks she is 30! I will definitely read this!
Very good advice the teen yrs are hard to get through
Thanks for the info
Good luck and much love and peace to all the parents of teenagers during this trying time in life!
Have required things to do every day
My teen years were turbulent as a teen due to a very dysfunctional home. Not having a good experience as a teen I didn’t know how to parent my own teens. Most important advice is to let them know they are valued, good kids . They will live up to that.
Very helpful!
Great advice!
I do not have teenagers, yet… but I have seen the struggles of my sister in-laws. A book like this would have been very handy for them, I’m sure!
Sounds like a great book.
Thank you for sharing!
Glad to see some much needed emotional advise for the difficult teenage years, especially in this day and age with all the added safety risks!
I have preteens so the teenage years are soon upon me! Any help is appreciated !
Raising teens is difficult I have 3 daughters they are 22, 17, and 11 with 3 different personality types.
They clean their room, make their bed, etc
I raised all boys, “most” of the time it was good ……. wish I had this book to gift to my son and daughter in law, raising two girls, but they are already on their own. Even though I’m no longer raising children, it has me interested in reading it, just because!
my kids are grown and gone
Great advice
Adding this to my TBR list now!
Thanks for the insight!
I don’t have any kids but if I ever do this would be something to read because I know raising teens must be tough. I was one once, haha.
Having a son who just turned 13 I am officially raising a teen. I will definitely be reading this book.
Sounds like a very informative book. I don’t have kids myself bit will mention it to my friends who do.
thanks for sharing, growing up has challenges and its good to know we’re not alone
Sounds like this could be a helpful book for anyone trying to raise teenagers.
Good advice
What a great article. I have an 18 year old. It was very helpful!
I need this book!!! This would’ve been great to have when my oldest boys were teens!
Be honest and sincere
Greaattttt!!
Have required daily chores
I do all the chores and housework always have and always will❤
My Kids are now adults still living at home. Both had jobs {UNTIL THE SHUTDOWN} Both are graduating college this Month {NO ceremony because of the virus} . My husband and I encouraged our kids to be savers. Thank God they listened. As I read advise from different people they all seem to be like minded. Thanks.
Love this!!
13-15 is the toughest ages
Very awesome
Have daily required chores, and no slacking!
Ty for the post!
A teenage grandson, I am glad I am not his parent
Very useful!!
Our kids survived in the 70’s and 80’s
Love this post
No teenagers anymore, but keep them busy with jobs!
So helpful!
Great tips!!
Not a parent but this does sound interesting. I have always been there for my nieces, nephews and greats.
this is really cute
nice advice for grandkids
Teen years are definitely tough
It sounds like a great resource.
No teens only adults with children of their own what a pleasure
My kids are 12 and 14 so I could definitely use some tips. This book looks like it would be a help.
I will need this in the coming years. UGH
This is a great book to share with my sisters, who are both raising teens right now.
Thank you
Awesom!
My brother is 13 and my mom and I are struggling already. I’m getting this book!
Love this post!!
This pandemic its driving things in new ways
It’s been a struggle to raise a great teen, and now it’s even harder with how our nation has shut down. Any advice is always helpful at the moment.
Not quite at the teen years yet, but this looks like it’d be very helpful when the day comes! Thanks for sharing!
Better than a parent is being a grand parnet.
This sounds like a great and helpful book.
I am not a parent but I have some family/friends that it would like to read this.
i have a daughter whos 4 and i feel like some days she is 14!
What a great resource. THose are important qualities to instill.
I don’t have children yet, but I would like to take a look at your book-I definitely want to parent with confidence and joy!
No teens yet, just babies! I wish she had a book about raising toddlers!
I have four kids, my oldest is only 10, but the teen years are coming! Although I feel like my only girl is going to give me a run for my money. shes only 1, but shes a nightmare already compared to her brothers!
This sounds like a book every parent should read. Seems like it is harder these days for teens than when we came along.
not a parent but I have some family/friends that it would not hurt to read …. Me I can just be there for them to talk to
this sounds good but what do I know not a parent…………….. I just know I am there if my nieces, nephews ever need to talk or what ever
It sounds like you did a good job in spite of everything. Glad to hear your own children are doing so well.
Not a parent so I really don’t know the rights or wrongs of kids. As a aunt I have always listened and commented if asked what I thought or felt.
Although this book sounds like a must read when you have teens, I think it’s also good to follow your instincts and do other research. It’s important to know your own child and to consider other options.
I really like that this is faith related. That has to be a part of it, in my opinion.
I think most parents should do some reading and research to ensure they make the best decisions possible. I think a lot of parents could use some advice.
It is a world filled with distractions, especially the phones. We have a family rule that there are no phones at the supper table. We try to eat 4-5 nights a week together even before Covid-19.
I love how she describes it as creating a masterpiece! It’s so very true that these children are truly art for the world to experience.
This sounds like a book one would buy several of and plan to share. Thanks for sharing!
Sounds like a great book with practical tips for raising teenagers! Thanks for sharing!
It is so important to prepare teenagers to be ready to manage their own life. Helicopter parents are not doing their children justice in preparing them to be adults.
I like how the author focuses on the strengths of the teens. I agree with that completely. Both of my kids have different strengths/gifts.
In these times, being a teenager is tough. Parents and teachers need books and help like this to help our teens.
This sounds like a great book about building relationship and trust with your teen so you can have influence in their lives. Thanks for sharing!
Sounds like a great book with practical tips for raising teenagers! Thanks for sharing!
I think it’s really important to help teens gain confidence in themselves. It’s a tough world these days and teens need to have confidence to make good decisions for themselves.
Teens can be very trying sometimes and this book looks like it has a lot of information to learn from.
It’s great to see people reading again. Reading a good book with your kids is fun and educational. Thank you for the review.
Diane K.
Sounds like a very informative book that every parent should read… sorry u left home at 14
I don’t have kids yet but This is still a great post
This sounds like a book to keep on the shelf and refer to from time to time! Thanks for sharing!
I really like that this is a faith-based look at dealing with teens. I would like to get a copy of this and then share it with other Moms.
This sounds like a must-have parenting resource! Thanks for sharing!
I had a great Mom but sometimes I felt like she didn’t prepare me or talk to me about the tough stuff as a teen. I’m trying to do things different with my daughter. I also value reading about how I can do it better.
This sounds like one read keep on your shelves to go back to from time to time. Thanks for sharing!
My oldest is now 20 and other than some school issues he was pretty easy going. My daughter on the other hand is very different. This book might certainly give me some tips to help for the next couple years.
This definitely looks like a great read! Sounds good! Thanks for sharing!
I too left home at 14 years old! It’s a long story about why, so I won’t bore you with the details. Our children are grown with families of their own. In my opinion, the only book that has all the answers is the Bible! I have no doubt that Connie Albers has poured her heart and soul into this book and I mean no disrespect! Even by her own experiences, and that this book is helpful and up lifting. I am pinning this so others can make up their own minds. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and information!
Sure I agree with you! The Bible is the best answer to all that we need. That said, strong Christian women like Connie Albers can help moms navigate the path of being a parent. Throughout history there have been trail blazers that have led the way. I consider her one of these trail blazers for moms looking to open the path for their families. Thank you for your comment and for sharing this book.
Great book! Sounds good! Thank you for sharing!
This sounds like a fantastic book! Very informative!
I’m sharing this with my son! A very interesting book based on your review! Thanks!
I’m very definitely going to be checking this out! Thanks for sharing!
Looks like a very good book! Sounds very informative! Thanks for the review!
Looks like it could be a very helpful book. Glad I don’t need it.
I’m going to recommend this to my sister, who is currently raising 2 teenage boys.
Seems like a good book.
Great read! Thank you for sharing 😊
This books looks like a very informative read. Being a parent we all want our kids successful in life. For this we must give them confidence.
sounds like an interesting read
Seems like a good book.
Sounds like a very interesting book to read
Sounds like a fantastic book.
Sounds like a good book to have.
This books looks like a very informative read.
This book sounds very informative! Thanks for sharing
Sounds like an helpful book.
As mom to a 17 yr old, I need a book to help me get through these years with her. Will definitely have to check it out!
helpful sounding book
If only my parents had had this book when I was young. I am sure I could have avoided a lot of pain – for me and them!
I will definitely have to read this! Teenager’s can be challenging, lol . My daughter is 19 & I have a 10 yr old son. I’ll be going through the teenage years again with him.
This will be a great book for me to get for my son and I to reach. He has custody of his two children and they are quickly reaching those teen years. I am helping them a long. We all live together. I cant wait to read this. Thank you so much for sharing
A book every parent needs to read. Thanks for sharing this.
Very helpful😊
Sounds like a great book for parents with teenagers.
This seems like a great book. Teen years can be really trying!
really great post
This sounds like a very interesting and informative book.
Being a parent to a teenager does come with its challenges. I know it was a difficult time for me
Sounds like a very helpful book.
This book sounds like a really great read.
Parenting teenagers can really be a challenge. They are not yet adults but they are not little kids any more. I have two young grandchildren who are 9 and 11. This could really help my son and I. Thank you so much for sharing this
This looks like a good read. The teen years are such a scary time for parents. It is a fine line between guiding your child being overprotective.