When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life
Whoa, this is something that I struggle with all the time. I am a pleaser type of person and want to say yes when asked but then I end up over extended and frustrated with myself. Does this sound familiar? Recently I have been digging through a series on setting boundaries. It has been tough but enlightening.
Does your life feel like it’s out of control? Perhaps you feel like you have to say yes to everyone’s requests. Maybe you find yourself readily taking responsibility for others’ feelings and problems. Or perhaps you focus so much on being loving and unselfish that you’ve forgotten your own limits and limitations. Or maybe it’s all of the above.
In the New York Times bestseller, Boundaries, the author help you learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of your life. Learn how to set healthy, biblical boundaries with your spouse, children, friends, parents, co-workers, and even yourself.
Now updated and expanded for the digital age, this book continues to help millions of people around the world answer these tough questions:
- Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
- What are legitimate boundaries?
- How do I effectively manage my digital life so that it doesn’t control me?
- What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
- How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
- Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?
- How do boundaries relate to mutual submission within marriage?
- Aren’t boundaries selfish?
You don’t have to let your life spiral out of control. Discover how boundaries make life better today!
About the Author:
Dr. Cloud is a leadership consultant, best-selling author, and speaker whose books have sold well over 5 million copies. He consults and speaks for companies and organizations in the area of leadership and performance, and is highly regarded for his ability to connect personal and interpersonal development. He is a clinical psychologist and leadership consultant with a unique ability to connect with audiences. Drawing upon his broad range of experiences in private practice, he simplifies life’s issues. And gives easy to understand, practical advice. It’s Dr. Cloud’s humor, compassion and “in the moment” confrontation that make his approach to psychology, business and spirituality such a success.
Dr. Cloud has written, or co-written, more than twenty books
Boundaries, and Necessary Endings, Integrity, The One Life Solution, The Law of Happiness and 9 Things You Simply Must Do. His books have sold over five million copies. Dr. Cloud co-hosts the nationally syndicated radio program New Life Live, which is heard in over 180 markets.
Speaker and Consultant
As a speaker, he is a favorite at corporate events, conventions, and public arena events on a variety of topics. In his consulting practice, he works with leaders in a wide range of organizations and corporations, from family help firms to Fortune 25 and Fortune 500 companies. He has an extensive executive coaching background and experience as an organizational and leadership consultant, spending the majority of his hands-on time with CEOs and executive teams.
Dr. Cloud founded and built a health care company which operated treatment centers in forty markets in the Western U.S. for which he served as Clinical Director for ten years. In that context of hands-on clinical experience, he developed and researched many of the treatment principles and methods that he communicates to audiences now. After selling the company, he devoted his time to consulting and coaching, spreading principles of hope and life-change through speaking, writing and media.
Setting boundaries has always been hard for me. It still is and probably always will be an issue for me. It doesn’t matter if it is in friendships, family, or marriage.
This book, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life summarized in one sentence would be: How to accept who you are, be confident about telling others no, and have the confidence in yourself when making decisions.
I found the book interesting but still a hard read. It makes you think through and try to understand the reasons behind the deep emotional road blocks that you deal with daily. For me, it was a logical plan of action for a lot of the daily struggles.
Now I did struggle and disagree with a few areas of boundaries and suggested actions, but this is not a reason to give up on the book. It is written from a faith basis, and does include the biblical scriptures being quoted.
One point that I strongly agree with is that each of us are responsible for the quality of his or her own life. There may be awful things in our pasts that we had no fault or responsibility in, but we do have a responsibility to find a way to deal with the consequences and not only move on, but come to a point of forgiveness in order to become emotionally whole again.
Remember this if nothing else:
The number one thing about boundaries: you cannot force someone else to establish them. You can only establish them for yourself. However, by doing so, you will change your life.
This particular version of Boundaries should be considered a preview or catch-all. Due to limited space, topics can only briefly be discussed. Other books in this series that dig deeper into specific areas include Boundaries in Dating, Boundaries in Marriage, Boundaries with Kids, Boundaries with Teens, and for relationships outside the family, Boundaries for Leaders. All of these books are available on Amazon in several formats including kindle.
Don’t have a Kindle? Grab one for yourself. They are so nice to use for reading. I love my Kindle Fire and my little one uses the e-Reader version (just for reading without the added games and internet options).
If you are looking for a way to work through the book and enjoy using a journal or workbook style of learning, this book has a corresponding workbook that really helps you dig in a little deeper.
The Boundaries Workbook gives a biblical foundation and practical tools for helping others respect your boundaries—whether you are not responding to a text message immediately or saying no when someone asks you to volunteer for one more activity. Discover firsthand how good boundaries give you the freedom to live as the loving, generous, fulfilled person God created you to be.
Simply Sherryl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Influencer Program, an influencer advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com/shop/SimplySherryl
Do you struggle with setting and maintaining boundaries? What suggestions or tips can you share with us? Let’s have a conversation!
Paula Pennachio says
I need to follow this I need to set boundaries with just about every one in my life