Oh I have got to try this one…. ‘I simply can’t say ‘yes’ to your request‘ the next time the phone rings during school hours or on my only afternoon at home with out little ones….
While emergencies do happen, most of the time calls we receive are because someone else failed to plan. Dr Mommy addresses this in her blog post today Release the Pressure by Simply Saying No. I did enjoy her post and fully agree that saying “no” more would be in my best interest…It is hard to do!
I often struggle with the difference in helping someone versus enabling them. I am afraid that because I am always willing to help that I enable more often than I actually help make a change in the life of someone. Now I am not saying that we shouldn’t drop what ever we are doing when a crisis arises. We need to be there for each other when the waves of trauma crash over our lives. But, I also know that it is sometimes easier to stay busy “helping” others to the point that we fail to meet the demands and expectations in our own lives.
Maybe I will take this suggestion and tuck it away to be pulled out the next time I am called upon to help. Another filter so to speak, in which to run the “request” through as a decision is reached. Am I being called to help because I am available? Or is there someone else that could just as easily meet the need….or can the person handle the challenge and work through it on their own??? Should I drop my planned/scheduled/already booked to the max day just because the phone rang?
On the flip side, I think this post will make me think more about the times I call someone to ask to help me. Sure, having help is great. Companionship while working makes the day go by so much faster and sweeter. But… am I causing them to stress? Am I capable of handling the issue and not disturbing someone else or their day?
Hmmmm… this is going to be one of those things that makes you think for a while.